I have a confession to make: over the past week my writing output has dropped considerably.
It wouldn’t be completely inaccurate for me to state that I’ve spent more time killing Nazi Zombies on Xbox Live with my good friend Mike than giving my book the time that I’m certain it deserves.
The motivation just hasn’t been there, not in the way that it’s been in the previous five weeks since I started this blog.
But thankfully, I’m getting back on track.
Over the years it seems as though I’ve had a countless number of friends, family members, as well as readers who’ve asked the simple question:
What’s holding you back? Exactly what’s stopping you from getting this book done?
That’s a great question, and a fair one, and for years I had absolutely no idea, not even the slightest clue to what the answer was.
But as I get older (and hopefully wiser), I think I’ve finally discovered the answer to that million dollar question.
For so many armchair therapists, they may look at me and conclude that it’s fear that’s been holding me back. Not just the fear of failure but also the fear of success.
Fear of failure. Doesn’t seem like an all too difficult concept to grasp. Of course we’re all afraid of failure, aspiring artist or not. And despite the fact that this diagnosis may seem like a no-brainer, I don’t think that’s it.
Okay, if that’s not it then what about the fear of success, if there is such a thing. Could that be possible?
We’ve all heard of how success–fame, money, and everything else that goes along with it–can dramatically change a person, sometimes transforming them into someone that’s barely recognizable.
I have to be honest with you, I’m not saying that money, fame, or success wouldn’t change me at all. I don’t have a crystal ball but hopefully I’d still be the same person that I’ve always been.
But let me state here, emphatically and for the record, that I have absolutely no fear of making boatloads of money from selling my novel (and the subsequent movie rights after it becomes a bestseller).
I’m 99.99% certain about that.
So what is it then?
There’s no easy way to say this so I’ll just say it, after all there’s not too many people reading this, right?
My confession to you is that I, Richard Ouano, am a crier.
(To be continued. . . )